Smartyfair
It is not, therefore, the thing which is done or given, but the spirit in which it is done or given, that must be considered, because a benefit exists, not in that which is done or given, but in the mind of the doer or giver.

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Lots of sources credit Seneca with this, and they agree with each other. The book or the speech it first came from hasn't turned up yet.
What turned up
https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/3794/pg3794-images.html

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